___ He's caught in headlights.

___ He was too close to the flash when it went off.

___ He opened his present from Santa, a fruitcake.

___ He just found out that since last Christmas,
        Santa has gained 90 pounds.

___ He heard that you didn't buy him a present.
        (Just wait and see what winds up in
        your stocking.)

Christmas is a time
of happiness and cheer
when friends and loved ones
come from far and near.

But beware on Christmas night
if you should go out
looking in the sky
to see if Santa is about.

Be sure not to stand beneath the sleigh
of that Jolly Ol' Elf
or you may wind up with deer pie
all over yourself.